Twilight Rant

I absolutely hate this series. I can't understand why so many people actually like this shit. I just can't get into these movies. I've really tried. There's so many things that are just cringe-worthy to mention. It's a REALLY bad franchise.

I figured I write down all my problems or things I see wrong with Twilight. And here they are:

1. Edwards a douche bag
2. Bella's annoying, retarded, anti-social, insecure, negative, and passive.
3. Jacob needs a shirt.
4. The Twilight series promotes bestiality and necrophilia. Think about it, Bella wants to -- wait she DID have sex with a vampire. Vampires are dead. A corpse. A cadaver. She fucked a dead body. That my friends is NECROPHILIA. Jacob's a dog, she wants Jacob, and I bet if Edward was ripped to dusk, Jacob would be with Bella and guess what? She'd be banging a dog -- or wolf -- or mutt -- whatever he is. Stephanie Myers you are one weird Mormon bitch.
5. Edwards Dad (Cauliflower? Lol) He bites teenagers... Enough said. Kill this fucker.
6. Bella treats her dad like crap.
7. Stephanie Myers is Satan's mom.
8. It puts people who are obsessed with this crap as a whole or as a "collective society" back into the 1950's mind-set. You know "bitch make me a sandwich" kind of mindset. In other words, women who look up to Bella are taught to be submissive like a Jehovah's Witness wives. (Damn I hate them.)
9. Bella's suppose to be this perfect girl, except for her clumsiness -- which isn't an attractive characteristic by the way, then again it depends on how cute the girl is and how her personality is. Bella's personality is nonexistent. But if Bella was so perfect, she wouldn't be reading Emily Bronte, she'd be reading Twilight by Stephanie Fuckin' Myers.
10. Bella's life is really fuckin' boring. I mean so fuckin' boring, I rather watch paint dry on a wall. No -- I rather watch ants eat the baby bird that fell from the nests. Wait -- I got it -- I'd rather watch a dung beetle roll shit across concrete than listen to Bella's life story.
11. Stephanie Myers only knows one mood: Depression. She was a house-wife... No wonder Bella and Edward are always depressed.
12. A role model is someone who helps old ladies walk across the street, not some insecure girl who thinks her life and everything is worthless and bane and that the only thing worth living for a guy who thinks she smells like shit, dumps her in the middle of the forest, leaves her behind even though he knows a KILLER BITCH VAMPIRE is after her, controls her, bosses her around, he wants to slit her throat with his teeth, he tosses her across the room (Did he even apologize? He did say he didn't want to hurt her anymore, but did he apologize?!) shall I continue?! Bella is Nikki--Minaj--Bat--Shit--Insane. She has problems.
13. If you date a Twilight fan then you'll be considered her "Jacob" or "Edward," which means one thing" You're going to have a bunch of im--fuckin'--possible standards set before you for life. Abort while you can. Abort.
14. Climatic plot is seriously lacking.
15. Character development is nonexistent.
16. The content of the book can be summed up in one word: Shit.
17. Team Jacob sucks
18. Team Edward Sucks
19. Team Bella, well people who are part of this team need electro-shock, mixed with behavioral therapy because there's nothing to be proud of let alone root for when you're on Team Bella, because she's practically a dumb-ass.
20. Twilight fans are like Jehovah's Witnesses. Jehovah's Witnesses will not read any literature outside their religion because it's apostate literature (wow, the watchtower has them on a leash). Like the J.W.-Whores, the Tw-tards -- I mean Twi-hards -- refuse to read any other REAL Vampire book fore example... Anne Rice?! If they did read Anne rice they would realize Twilight sucks. The same for J.W.-Whores, if they read literature that's outside of their religion, they will see they're under mind control and they're practically being used.
21. Like like vegetarians in real life, vegetarian vampires are pathetic.
22. Edward talks a lot of shit, but can fight without his brothers and sisters. Lame.
23. It doesn't matter if you think Edward is hot or not because he will never be able to GET HIS "WANG" UP! It's impossible for a dead guy to get a hard-on. He's a corpse. Dead. Stiff. That means he has no blood Running through his body. Even he admitted he doesn't drink human blood, therefore, it would be impossible for Bella to hold onto that "Wang." so there you have it Bella is in for one BIG SURPRISE. Also, ask your guy how hard it is to get "it" up when you're cold? Remember Edward is cold? No offense to anyone, but girls if you want to know what it's like to be with Edward try this experiment: Get a dildo. Put it in the freezer for seven hours. And use it. Ha... I rest my fuckin' case.
24. Bella isn't even "one dimensional." She's just a mental case.
25. Twilight is programing young women to embrace this mindset, "if my guy doesn't sparkle, he's not good enough for me!"
26. The wolf pack is suppose to be big bad-asses with big muscles and hairless chests, yet when the morph into a big giant dog that doesn't have a "Shillong!" So Jacob goes from being a buff dude, to a dog with no "wang." How's that manly?
27. Be honest, if there was a book that called "The Dog Goes Arf!" That would be more entertaining, accurate and unique than any book in the "Twilight" series -- ahem, I mean Saga.

I'll add more when my brain recharges...