Twilight Eclipse

Synopsis: Victoria comes back to start an army to kill Bella -- a bunch of little vampires to kill one Klutzy girl -- and the Cullens and the Wolf Pack band together to protect her... Dear Zeus what... The... Fuck... Are these movies about?

Eclipse Sucks. I only saw it once! Wait -- I forgot. I have the Twilight Movies for only one reason, COLLECTING PURPOSES ONLY! OK, now back to the review. This movie just went to shit. Bella still has a hard-on for Edward. Edward keeps bitching about Jacob and Jacob keeps trying to win Bella over... Agh, it's just the same shit again. There's nothing new with this movie other than the continuation of Jacob and Edward bitching over a retard.

This is what I find funny Victoria start an army of young vampires to come after Bella and distract the Cullens or something like that, well is it really necessary to send in a BATTALION to kill one retarded girl who falls a lot? All you have to do is wait for her to fall and then use your super speed and dig a deep hole (after all they got stamina and strength) and all your problems are gone. Really and army of vampires for a girl -- yet she STILL FAILS miserably. What do you expect that's the world of Twilight and I can't stand it.

I will admit this, Jacob's acting did improve in this movie, well I thought so. Nonetheless, it doesn't change the fact that he's still a pussy-whipped little puppy.

So there you have it that's all this fucking movie about -- Bella crying over Edward -- Jacob crying over Bella -- Edward looking like he's being tortured in the movie Hostel -- Edwards dad looks like a creepo that worked at the DMV -- a vampire army after Bella -- the Wolves and Vampires team up to protect one retard -- Jacob gets hurt and Bella still wants Edward -- and -- the end. FuCk Me! Oh and the Vultri is now after their asses, but who cares right? None of their powers work on Bella because she's so "special" -- and I mean "special" as in Scooby Do Lunch Box kind of special. I hated this movie. I wont review the second one until the price comes down a bit cause I'm not going to pay no full price for that shit.

So what do I rate this movie? - 3 Stars out of 5.