The Hunger Games: Peeta Mellark

 

 The Hunger Games is one of my favorite movies of 2011 or 2012. I enjoyed everything about this movie. However, there's one thing I dislike: Peeta. 

The picture bellow is Peeta Mellark. A major douche bag if you ask me. Now that you've seen him, why do I hate Peeta? I'll make make it easy for you:

Douche bag Peeta talks way to much shit for me to like him. He has a big talk, but cannot live up to his talk. He's always saying "I'm going to protect you katniss! I'm going to protect you!" Bullshit, the entire time in the Games he was either hurt, hiding or trying to act like he's a tough guy Katniss.

Douche bag Peeta tries to fight this guy named Kato. Keep in mind Kato knows how to use a sword. Peeta only knows how to pick up a hundred pound bag of flower. He tries to fight this guy who trained his entire life to kill? What happened? Douche bag Peeta ends up getting shanked like he's taking a shower in prison.

Then what happened? This fuckin' idiot crawls all the way to the river and decorates himself and blend in so that he can stay alive. Keep in mind Katniss, was attacked by Clove, when the games started, nearly starved, dehydrated, almost got burned alive, yet still got wounded by the fire, got high as shit from the tracker jackers, fought Kato, blew up the Careers supplies, saved douche bag Peeta, risked her life for douche bag Peeta and through all this chaos... he still... swears to the gods of Olympus... he's protecting Katniss. Fuck.

Now in the book it happened differently in the book after President Snow Announces two people can with in the games, Katniss runs off and tries to find Peeta. However, when she finds him he's buried in the mud. He calls out to her, "Katniss... help. Meeeee. Help meeeeee." In the movie, he says "Katniss..." The biggest wimp ever. Katniss was still kicking ass even after she was burnt.


Then Katniss finds Peeta and she takes his clothes off, cleans him up, puts him in the cave, hunts, makes a fire, cooks and cares for him... Looks to me we got another "Stay-at-home-husband" on our hands. Now, at this time Peeta's pretty much done for it. Katniss tells him she has to get him medication for his wound. But Douche Bag Peeta says, "No! It's to dangerous. I have to protect you." This fuckin' idiot still hasn't figured it out, he's useless.

Now Katniss has to give him Roofies or something to knock him out. Then she ventures out to get medication for his wounds which is near the Cornucopia I believe. After she makes it, she comes face to face with Clove who NEARLY KILLS HER! She risked her life for that douche bag. Then she comes back to the cave. He wakes up and he's all mad -- in my eyes he was butt-hurt, but that's up to interpretation.
Then they leave the cave and Peeta makes all this noise as he walks (This is in the book, by the way). In the movie he's still making noise, but in the book Katniss calls him out on it. Then what happens -- the goddamn dogs, that look like the  DEMON DOGS from GHOST BUSTERS, jump out nearly mauling Peeta! who saves who? Katniss saves douche bag Peeta. They run to the cornucopia and they make it.

On the cornucopia Peeta and Katniss fight Kato. To sum it up, Kato was kicking both their asses. But at least Katniss was actually DOING SOMETHING. At one point Kato is on top of Katniss trying to pussh her off and who comes to save the day? Peeta! He "suplexes" Kato, but Kato rolls right off the ground like nothing even happened! And then some how Kato has Peeta in a headlock. 
What happens here? Peeta points desperately at Kato's hand trying to signal Katniss to shoot him in the hand. And then... yeah, you guessed it, Katniss shoots Kato and he falls off the cornucopia and the dogs eat him and then Katniss puts Kato out of his misery. Again she saved that douche bag.

See Peta is a MAJOR. FUCKIN'. DOUCHE BAG.


But that's not it. I have other points that show how much of a douche bag Peeta is. First of all if there really were The Hunger Games and you were selected and your own mother is ROOTING for your GODDAMN NEIGHBOR... you're either the biggest goddamn loser in the history of "biggest goddamn losers" or you have one of the most fucked up shitty ass family in this history of "fucked up shitty ass families". His mother said:

"It looks like District 12 is finally going to have a winner this year." And even Peeta admitted, she wasn't talking about him.

How screwed up is that? That's something right out of Ricki Lake, you know? It's just really fucked up. But there's more:

Now you know how they say "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?" Well it's true. Here's a conversation between Peeta and his dad when he was about five or so.

"Peeta?" His dad asked.
"Yeah, dad?" 
"See that little girl over there in red?" His father said pointing at a little girl in a red dress (Katniss) (Am I the only one who finds this very disturbing?)
"Yeah?"
"I was going to marry her mother."
"Oh. Why didn't you dad?" 
"Because... she married a man who can sing so well... the birds stop singing."
"Oh. Dad?"
"Yeah, Peeta?"
"Can I go play on the rusted monkey bars?"
"Yes, Peeta... yes you may."
And fucking scene.

What the serious fuck was that? Are you kidding me? Okay, I'm not the most handsome guy in the world, but if I really liked a girl I would go and ask her out and just to see if maybe -- JUST MAYBE, she would be interested in me. I don't want to wake up fifty years from now and wonder how life would have been if I actually had the cajones to ask her out. So his dad settled for less, which sucked for him because his wife is a...

MAJOR. FUCKING. BITCH.

Trust me when I say that, she is. Now the main reason why I say Peeta is the worst example of a tough guy is, his name. The bastard is named after BREAD. Peta (Peeta) bread is soft and ironically so is Peeta.

If women are all over Peeta thinking he's the ideal guy. Then I'll be perfectly honest with you: That shit just gives me hope! 

-- Connor Murphy

The Hunger Games

In a future distopian society, people are divided up and live in districts. Once a year, the Capital selects two tributes from each district to celebrate and fight in The Hunger Games.

The Hunger Games what can you really say about this movie? Other than it's fuckin' awesome! This movie is the shit! Actually, I read the books before I seen the movies (Yes, I can read -- rather well actually) And I liked both versions. I loved everything about this movie because it was such an interesting read and watch. However I will say this, the book has a lot more substance to it and you get to see a lot of things that don't make it into the movie. Why weren't they in the movie? Because in film you have to show things and not tell it. And then the novel is written in first person. So I would recommend that you read the book and watch the movie. But I must say even thought I like the book, the movie did fall short just a tad bit. And here's why:

One word: Peta. Not the bread, but the fuckin' douche bag who thinks he's the shit. Personally, I think they tried to make him more of a tough guy in the movie than he was in the book. But I wont get into it here. I'm going to do a Hunger Game's rant on why I dislike the Hunger Games, however, when I say hate, I don't really hate the movie, it's just a character that I really, really, really fuckin' dislike. 

Other than that I can't really think of anything else that I didn't like about the movie. I thought it was fantastic. Thrilling. Action packed. It was everything The Twilight Saga  was not. But I can assure you, if you look into this movie, you'll like and you just might want to check out the book while you're at it so you'll have more substance to it. 

So what would I rate this movie? Obviously, 5 Stars out of 5!

-- Connor Murphy 

My Return To Planet Earth

Okay, I figured I come back to my blog and start writing again. I'm not sure if I should tell you what exactly happened. But then again...Agh -- why the fuck not. Okay. This is what happened. One night I was hanging outside kicking it with my friends. When suddenly there was a bright flash -- then I woke up on cold metal table. And there was this creature -- a Grey alien -- staring at me. It freaked me the fuck out. he told me.

"Do not fear, Connor. I come in peace."
I said, "What the serious fuck! Peace?! You kidnapped me!"

He laughed and continued to experiment on me -- no probing cause I told him I don't play that shit. So over the months I ended up living on board a space craft inside of a small little department. They fed me water and rice in a Styrofoam cup.

It wasn't until one day I said:

"Fuck this shit! I'mma headbutt all this sons of bitches!"

So started doing pushes ups and sit ups and meditating. one day I meditated and astral projected to Mount Olympus where I defeated the Gods of Olympus and the Titans. Because of my bravery I inherited their skills. Then I returned to my body and I was amazed at my skills. Really awesome skills... Seriously, they're awesome... You wouldn't even believe me if I showed... shut the fuck up.

Anyway, And then on that fateful day, they opened the door and -- BOOM -- I headbutted that alien in the face -- I mean headbutted the living shit out of that alien. I was running through the space craft. The alarm sounded and that's when I knew I was in deep shit. But you know what? I kept pushing forward! Why?! Because I'm that fuckin' awesome. So anyway, I probably killed about fifteen aliens until I came to the main controls. I took the space craft -- high jacked it and parked it on the moon in one of it's craters. Then I took a space pod and headed towards the earth. I crashed in the Mojave desert and when I opened the space pod...

The fuckin' government was there. M4 A1's and all that shit. Lookin' all bad ass. I surrendered. I was taken to Area 51. And I swear I was bunk mates with an E.T. named Mokie. She was cool. Okay, she looked human and was REALLY GODDAMN HOT. She had the hottest telepathic "bedroom voice" I have ever heard. At one point, I said, "to hell with it" and for hours we fu -- but I was kept there for an additional five months. Eventually, the government wanted to know where my space craft was and I told them:

"That's my space craft punk-bitch! When the aliens come and conquer earth I'm going to use it and whoop some serious fuckin' ass!"

Then he slammed me up against the wall and was inches from my face. His breath smelled like pig farm; and then said:

"Bitch! Who wears the pants in the family? I do!" 
"What. The Serious. Fuck are you talking about?" I asked.

Then he bitch slapped me -- it hurt, you know, but me being the bad ass I am, it was okay, cause I had a plan. So I went into the corner of my room and I meditated and realized, it's easy to break out of Area 51. So I waited for the security guard to come back and know what I did?

I headbutted the goddamn shit out of his face -- it went crunch-crack-pop! He droped and I fled. It took out a few guards using the headbutt, but then I made it to the surface. And once I did that, since it was night time, it was easy for me to use my ninja skills and just vanish into the night. At one point when I was in Vegas I even headbutted a herd of Jehovah's Witnesses just for the fuck of it... you should give it a try sometime. 

And then three days later... I'm back home. So now you know what happened to me and why I haven't been updating my blog. Now that I am am back, I shall continue to do so.

-- Connor Murphy    

Breaking Bad Season 5 Promo!

Okay first off, I've been away for a while, I had to track down a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses and... Never mind, but recently I finished watching Breaking Bad Season 4 which was FANTASTIC! If you haven't seen it, watch it! Now, Season 5 starts this Sunday and I am more than excited about it. Below is a ninety second clip of the first episode. If you haven't watched any of the episodes, then you might not know what happened. This takes place -- more like picks up right after the Season Finale for Season 4, which was jaw-dropping! So check it out!
-- Connor Murphy

Deadset (Full movie on Youtube)

A while back I mentioned there was an English movie called Deadset. I praised this movie because of how magnificent it is. I'll says it again everyone in this movie -- mini-series -- is an asshole except for Liz May Brice's character who I thought was pretty kick ass. But other than that every single person in this FUCKIN' FILM is a douche bag on so many levels. That's how good Deadset is, it messes with your emotions and causes you to hate or like someone and then you end up hating them with a passion. I hate some characters in Deadset so much I think I should make a religion out of hating them. The writing is fantastic. The direction is brilliant. And most of all the acting was above "good acting." So remember this movie with all of the episodes put together as one is two hours and twenty minutes and three seconds. So pull up a chair, get some food and enjoy!

-- Connor Murphy

Zomblies

Yes Zomblies is the correct spelling for this video. I saw this the other day on Youtube and I thought it was fantastic. So if you have time grab something to eat, pull up a chair and watch this kick as forty-something minute zombie movie. I loved it!

-- Connor Murphy

Revolution

I love JJ Abrams! I think he's one of the most fascinating individuals I've seen in a long time, especially when it comes to stories. Revolution is about planet Earth simply losing all it's power plunging mankind back into the stone age. So the movie is a Futuristic, Post-Apocalyptic, dystopia TV show. Revolution is brought to you by JJ Abrams and Supernatural creator Eric Kripke and directed by John Favreau.

I personally love futuristic, post-apocalyptic movies also dystopian movies as well. So I am very intrigued by it. Also it stars Billy Burke, he Bella's dad on the twilight movies and comes on in Season 2 of 24 as... um... What's his name... oh yeah, Gary Matheson! Bad ass. He even comes out in the movie Drive Angry with Nicolas Cage! However, there's one actor I can't wait to see in this series is Giancarlo Esposito A.K.A. Gustavo 'Gus' Fring from Breaking Bad! If you haven't seen Breaking Bad get it Season one is 15$, however, Esposito comes out in Season 2, 3 and 4. He's a dynamic actor and scares the heck out of me with that stare he does! If you don't know what I mean click here [Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! Spoiler Alert! It gives away everything about this character! So proceed with caucion.] So all in all, I can't wait to watch this series!

So from my understanding Revolution airs in the fall for the 2012-2013 line up. It will air on NBC at 10 P.M. So check it out! I know I will!

-- Connor Murphy