Friday, March 30, 2012

Drive

Synopsis: A man -- without a name, his mom was drunk -- is a Hollywood stuntman, a getaway driver, and a mechanic in a shop. He ends up falling in love with his neighbor, whose husband is in jail. Meanwhile, his boss (Brian Crantson, the only bearable character in this movie) sets him up with a job using money from the mafia. When the husband of the girl he loves comes home, all hell breaks loose...

I will be straight up honest with you -- this movie is overrated, over-hyped and even boring 90% of the time. I couldn't get into this movie at all. It's ashamed because I thought it was going to be one of those "kick-ass" movies like Drive Angry or Faster, but it wasn't. Why did I think it was going to be off-the-charts in action? The previews are very misleading -- very. I remember watching the previews and saying "Oh, this going whoop ass!" But, no, I was deceived.

I'm not sure if I've ever heard of Ryan Gosling before this, maybe I have, not sure, but he was hideous in this movie. Some say he's suppose to come off as a humbled guy who only speaks when necessary. Yeah, I'm sure another actor could have done better, but after seeing Gosslings' performance I realized his acting in this movie was very 1 dimensional, it had no depth, no raw feeling, no emotion -- even when he "snaps" at the end, he looks just like when he was first introduced; however, the only thing is he's smashing some guys fingers with a hammer, without expressions. I kept thinking "slap this guy i the face with a Jack-hammer to get a response out of him!" Think about this, a guy who rarely speaks. He meets a girl and her kid. He gets to know the kid and then he says to this kid, "Want a toothpick?" That was my "what the fuck" moment!

Personally, I wanted to see emotion, maybe Goslings' character was related to Alma on The Happening, remember how she doesn't like to "show emotion?" Well not in this movie, he really give a good performance for not showing emotion -- what did I just say? -- oh well the movie still sucks.

Drive is very slow, ironically it tried to sale its self as a high-octane racing-like movie. For example, at the Begining you see Goslings' character in the middle of a heist. However, they kind of get discovered, however, he's so calm he simply drifts around avoiding the helicopter and cops. Even I'll admit, that's a skilled driver, but if you try to sell a movie as a fast-and-furious high-speed pursuit kind of movie, yet there rarely as any high speed pursuits, it's going to fall flat with most of the audiences. I speak for myself, in this matter, I hated the movie. However, seeing him avoid the cops and the helicopter was unique and very cinematic, and gave you the feel that you're about to get to know a guy who's devoid of human emotion, but then it turns into this over saturated film, with nothing in it. Even when he beat the guys face in while on the elevator, he still had no emotion. Maybe that's how the film was suppose to be, but for my liking, it wasn't great. I want to see him evolve emotionally, characteristically and mentally (even though you do see that, and I will admit it).

It would have been more entertaining if Gosslings' character was cruising around avoiding the police like he was doing at the beginning of the movie, but then he gets caught and we get to see his skills as he evades the police and the helicopter in a high-speed pursuit evading the cops. It kind of happened, but it wasn't entertaining it was boring. I know it takes a lot to evade a helicopter, nevertheless, he's suppose to be skilled and in the movie he's very precise and has everything set up. So if he thinks everything through, then he would have a contingency plan for escaping the police and the helicopter at the same time.

Another aspect Drive I disliked was the pacing. Everything was so slow. I couldn't bare see the montage of him and the the female neighbor and her kid, I couldn't imagine how she would fall for a guy like him, especially with his lack of proper human emotion (I just realized Goslings' character and Bella would be a perfect match). The romance was overrated and over romanticized. An emotionless guy, plus an hopeless romantic girl falling in love = awkward romance. What the point of having romance if the character doesn't evolve and really show his emotion. Maybe I'm missing something and I will watch it again just to see if I missed something everyone else picked up. Nonetheless, I will say this, it's rare that I hate a movie, then re-watch it, and then end up loving it.

So what do I rate this movie? 2 Starts out 5

-- Connor Murphy

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Underrated Movies Of 2011

As most know, I love movies. Movies are just as good as books! However, every now and then I gotta say that there are some movies that just slip under the radar and are skipped over by very overrated movies such as Avatar! So I figured I'd compile my own list of the most underrated movies of 2011:

Kill the Irishman

Kill the Irishman is about a true story of a man named Danny Greene who the Italian mob had tried to kill him multiple times and failed every time. Personally I didn't know what to expect when going into this movie. But after watching it, I realized I'm glad I listened to my friend, because if I hadn't I would have passed over it like I do most films that don't appeal to me. So if you have the extra capital I recommend giving this little gem a watch.

Hannah

I loved this movie. This is a Luc Besson film, very typical -- you know the one with a strong female lead. I honestly felt this movie was a very interesting watch because its amazing watch a girl who looks twelve years old kick a bunch of grown men's asses. If you haven't seen this, watch it. Especially if you like movies that are spy thrillers, political and action-packed.

Unknown

Liam Nesson is an amazing actor is practically everyone movie I've seen him in. Unknown is very underrated and it had an excellent cast with a heck of twist at the end. If you haven't seen this flick and you love political movies, spy thrillers, or assassination movies. I say give it a shot. It's very much like Bourne Trilogy, Mission Impossible, and the movie Traitor. This film is very engaging and it will keep you on your feet because the action and the story is simply superb.

Drive Angry

What can you say about Drive Angry? It's a heck of a lot better than Drive. I'm a huge Nicolas Cage fan and the majority of the films hes been in, I've enjoyed -- even The Wicker Man. While watching this movie you have to suspend disbelief and simply submerge yourself into the film and accept it for what it is, a modern-day Grindhouse film. Everything about this film screams Grindhouse. It's perfect and it fits absolutely well with the story. Nicolas Cage played John Milton very well. There's lots of action, gore, nudity and a creepy villain, Billy Burke (The only tolerable one in the Twilight Saga.) So if you want to see it, but not sure if you want to spend that much money on the film, wait until it's cheaper or buy it used, because it's absolutely and amazing film.


The Lincoln Lawyer

Matthew McConaughey plays a lawyer who can get you off from just about any crime. He's good and he works out of a Lincoln Town Car. This is a thriller and if you've never seen it, I suggest you get it's worth the watch and worth the price. I've seen this film multiple times and enjoyed it each time I viewed it. So if you like political thrillers then pick this one up and enjoy.

Contagion

I liked this film for a number of reasons -- the actors had no make-up and it makes you want to take a shower. Contagion is a thriller about a virus that starts to spread and now the CDC and the World Health Organization are tyring to find a cure, contain it and find patient number zero. The assembled cast is perfect and the diction is just as brilliant. Contagion is so interesting that you don't know who will die and who will live. This isn't a film that makes it obvious that so-and-so will not die because they're the highest paid actor on the market. In Contagion there's a lot of popular people Kate Wenslet, Gwenith Paltrow, Matt Damon etc., so trying to figure out who will live is irrelevant especially when you're trying to figure out where this virus came from. It's a fun watch and I definitely recommend it.

Tower Heist

Tower Heist is about a group of lowly workers working for a multi-millionaire who squanders their money and their retirement etc. So a few of the employees (and former employees and non-employees) band together to rob their boss and take back the money he had actually stolen. Tower heist is a pretty decent comedy. I thought it was funny and I enjoyed everything about the movie. However, there are some parts that are considered far-fetched and a little to risky even for a movie such as this. Nonetheless, Tower Heist is definitely worth watching.

Super 8

Super 8 is an underrated film. It had Spielberg written all over it -- alien, kids, innocence, kids saving the day etc. I actually enjoyed Super 8, it reminded me of a modern day Sandlot, Stand By Me or The Goonies. However, unlike Sandlot and The Goonies, the characters in Super 8 were not well developed and that's OK for this kind of film. There's a lot of action happening and because of the action you can only do so much character development. In the Sandlot and The Goonies, you actually care for the characters and you're rooting for them. In Super 8 you really don't care to much for the characters except for Elle Fanning's character, you do end up caring for her, but apart from that you really don't care to much for the majority of the characters. Nonetheless, the action and the story literally makes up for lack of character development. I strongly recommend Super 8.

Attack the Block

Attack The Block is a film from England, which I must say is absolutely fun. However, the idea of the kids trying to act "gangster" with a British accent and the tone of their voices an octave or so higher than the gangsters in Los Angeles, kind gives them a -not-so-intimidating kind of feel to the film. Though, I will say apart from the cultural differences the film still sands out and is really fun to watch. The aliens are very unique to be honest kind of creepy if you really think about it because they look like giant bears or something that blacker than black except for their teeth which have a indigo blue glow to it. It's still creepy at times. Nonetheless, the best actors in Attack The Block is Nick Frost (Shawn of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and Paul.) his characters is funny at times. So with that said, if you like aliens mixed with comedy I suggest you take a look at Attack the Block.

Sucker Punch

Sucker Punch was made by Zach Snyder one of my favorite directors respectively on par with J.J. Abrams. Sucker Punch is such an underrated film for a number of reasons: The action, the story, acting, fight scenes, the cinematography, the direction, music score, hot girls and creativity. A lot of viewers hated Sucker Punch for a lot of reasons including the CGI. I, for one, don't mind the CGI. I understand that there are times where CGI is needed and will make the film a lot better. However, if you limit yourself to simply practical effects, there's only so much you can be able to achieve. Like Sucker Punch without the CGI and the beauty it adds to the film, I can not imagine how it would be without the CGI. Sucker punch has such amazing aspects to the film that I fell in love with the movie in general. Some say it's confusing, however, I can agree with that, but when you sit back and ponder over it, you start to realize a number of things and why they happen that way simply because it all takes place in her mind. Again, this movie absolutely underrated.

Battle: Los Angeles

Battle: Los Angeles = Badass! I loved this movie from the moment the film started to roll. I was even more excited that the film came out to DVD just three months after it was released in theaters, which is very rare unless it was a limited release in selective theaters. Everyone who hates this movie always complain about the same thing: the shakiness of the camera and the cliche dialogue. OK, I'll admit sometimes the dialogue is kind of weak, but the shakiness of the camera added to the "realness" of the movie. I felt like I was actually there. Plus this film is suppose to be like a documentary as if someone is filming the alien invasion. If that were to really happen and someone were to follow a group of MARINES around to watch the kill aliens, I can almost guarantee you that it will end up looking like how Battle: Los Angeles turned out to be. Gritty -- shaky cameras -- explosions -- yelling -- cries for help. Battle: Los Angeles had such a simple story line it worked. Hector, the kid of one of the survivors, is a really good actor. When he had his crying scene I was convinced. And again, as I said in many other posts, Michelle Rodriguez is hot and I went to see this movie because of her. Yeah, it's true, but even if she wasn't in it I still would have gone to see it. I couldn't believe my eyes and ears after reading and seeing all the negative reviews about this movie. Are people really little bitches they can't handle a little "motion sickness?" Well me I don't get motion sickness. However, my friend said if you don't focus on that and simply enjoy the movie, you will not notice it very much and you'll notice it for what it is -- a gritty movie, that's trying to sell its self off as a realistic looking film... And it succeeds. So therefore, with that said, I think Battle: Los Angeles is the most underrated film of 2011. So if you haven't seen it because of all the "negative reviews" about it, watch it for yourself and decide.

Five Most Underrated Movies Of 2011:

  1. Battle: Los Angeles
  2. Sucker Punch
  3. Attack The Block
  4. Drive Angry
  5. Hannah
I hope you enjoyed this review of my Underrated Movies Of 2011. Also, if you haven't seen any of the movies on this list, then be open minded and check it out.

-- Connor Murphy

Weekly Recommendations 3/27/2012

  1. Jack Brook's Monster Slayer -- Jack Brook's Monster Slayer is about a guy who loses his family from a monster attack when he was a child. However, after growing up he has fits of rages. He works as a plumber taking night classes. Until one day his professor asks him to come to his to fix a plumbing problem. Well he disturbs ever and the professor becomes a crazy freaky monster consuming the class. Now Jack becomes a reluctant hero and faces his fears. Personally, I enjoyed this movie. There were no CGI (I find nothing wrong with CGI by the way) and it was all practical effects. This movie gives me the feel of House (198?) or Slither. It was funny, although not as fun as Slither and  House, but it works.
  2. Altered -- A group of friends are traumatized from a past experience with an extraterrestrial alien from another planet. Years later, the main character drifts apart from the rest of the group while the others remain friends while they hunt alien down. One night they capture it and bring it to the main characters house, which prompts a series of strange activities as the creature tries to get free. And when it does, it starts its killing spree. For a such a low budget movie from the Blair Witch Project director, it was actually very well done. Nice effects. Great acting. However, I will say this, this film might not be fore everyone so approaches this with your own discretion.
  3. Galaxy Quest -- A group of has-been actors from on old TV show called Galaxy Quest are recruited by an extraterrestrial race, to save their race from an evil alien, when theGalaxy Quest re-runs are mistaken for historical events. This movie is a whole lot of fun! Tim Allen and Sigoruney Weaver and Sam Rockwell are all great actors including some of the others -- especially that alien girl with the black hair, damn she's hot for some strange reason. But this film may have slipped under the radar, but I personally think Galaxy Quest -- actually a parody of Star Trek -- is definitely worth the watch. So if you can find this movie at a local store, check it out. You wont be disappointed.
  4. Pan's Labyrinth -- The princess of the underworld died and is later reincarnated as a child on Earth. She's taken to living with her new stepfather and mother. After arriving she embarks on a journey that takes her to different dimensions, encounters with strange beings and magic! This on my two twenty films of all time. I absolutely love this movie. I always recommend this movie because it's such a great sad story for adults. It's dark and creepy. It gives you hope, yet fear. And it's dark spin on traditional fair tales with fairies, fawns, monsters, magic, fairies etc. It's perfect. If you liked movies such as Labyrinth, Never Ending Story or Don't be afraid of the dark, you'll defiantly want to check this movie out. However, I will point this out, this movies is subtitled. It's a film by director Guillermo Del Torro. I don't mind subtitled films, I love to read too. Then the combination -- reading subtitles and watching a movie -- is the ultimate form multitasking.
  5. Session 9 -- Session 9 is about a cleaning crew that goes to Danvern's State Hospital to remove all the apestos before demolition. However, as they return, strange occurrences start to happen that causes the characters to lose trust and question each other and then go against each other. One of the characters starts to listen to the old recordings of patients that were emitted before it shut down and these recordings literally give you clues, hits and chills after listening to them, because this recordings are the key to the story. This is a movie most people have not heard of. This film is absolutely amazing. When I first saw it, I liked it, however, I didn't think it lived up to all the hype it got. Some said it was scary and others said it wasn't. Nevertheless, when I saw it the second time, I then realized it was extremely creepy and very well written. I can't recommend this movie enough. It's definitely a must see!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Another World (A zombie film)

Synopsis: Five survivors travel through the apocalyptic wasteland trying to survive the zombie apocalypse.

Another World seems like an interesting little film. As a matter of fact it's a foreign film from Israel. Watch the trailer and see for yourself and I guarantee you will be engulfed by the story and how the zombie apocalypse is playing out. I'm about just as excited for this movie as I am for Re-Kill. In the film, there's five characters:

A Colonel, who was once a solder. According to the Another World website, he represents a "political-military-economic establishment, which sees life as a constant violent struggle for power and resources."

Then there's the doctor, who represents "a commitment to love, justice and non-violent struggle against all wrong."

The Wizard, a young adult and "an inventor and autodidact scientist, who looks at life as a puzzle to be solved. He strives to discover, understand and invent, with no thought as to the consequences."

The Daughter is a very casual girl, "sailing through life enjoying every comfort, while ignoring or unaware of bigger and more profound issues."

The Mouse is a "murderer and rapist, evil in the most banal aspect of the world." I can almost guarantee you that he's going to be the reason a lot of people are going to get killed. Rule #3 For Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse: "Kill the asshole before he kills you!"

I'm drawn to this movie because I like movies that have action as well as character development like Orphan for instance, but since they have limited characters and they actually thought out the characters and their personalities, I can't wait to see how Another World unfolds on screen.

Nonetheless, here's the sad thing is just like Re-Kill, there is no release date. both films were suppose to be out in 2011 but they pushed the date forward blah, blah, fuckin', blah. I want to see a new zombie movie already! So until then keep your eyes open for this upcoming zombie flick.
-- Connor Murphy

Movies To Look Out For In 2012

Honestly, to date there really isn't a lot of movies I'm looking forward to this year; however, it's possible that I haven't heard about all of them. Nevertheless, there are eight movies I am definitely looking forward to in the coming months.

Resident Evil -- I know it's obvious I have a love/hate feelings towards Paul W.S. Anderson. I enjoyed a lot of his movies, however, the Resident Evil series have literally been raped by this turd. Therefore, why would I be interested in this new movie? Well it has zombies in it. What more can you say? I will say this -- and I'm mostly speaking to Paul W.S. Anderson even thought he may never read this -- do not, and I repeat, do not just put shit into the film that has no place in it and has not logical or possible origin. I.E. The Ax-Man from Resident Evil 5/Resident Evil: After Life or like the damn prison from that's in Resident Evil: Afterlife in the middle of Los Angeles... That looks like a castle... A castle from Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. Damn it Paul there is no prison like that in Los Angeles, it doesn't exist -- it's fictional -- it's wrong -- it's offensive -- you're trying to mind fuck me -- only aliens do such a thing -- you're just a douche bag and keeps raping our wallets and the Resident Evil series.




Total Recall -- I believe this film will be amazing -- it has Collin Ferrel in it, it's bound to be good. From my understanding Total Recall is based on a book and the original movie was loosely based on it. However, the new remake or new installment of Total Recall will be much truer to the book. I'm looking forward to it.
Battle Royale -- This is a remake of at Japanese movie of the same name. It's about a bunch of school kids or Junior high kids who get kidnapped and put into the forest or somewhere to kill each other to stay alive. It sounds very wicked. I have not seen the original, however, I will see it before this remake is released in theaters.
















The Raid -- This movie is going to kick ass. This is a foreign movie involving a S.W.A.T. Team that raids a building infected with degenerates, however, they get locked in and they have to fight their way out. Personally I think this will be an amazing film because lately I've been getting back into martial arts movies. So with that said, yes, I will defiantly be checking this flick out.















Re-Kill -- This movie is a zombie movie -- before you judge it watch the six or twelve minute trailer it's amazing! The premise surrounds a special ops group trained to obliterate the zombie virus. It's been, five years since the zombie virus has wiped out 85 percent of the worlds population. This special ops group finds signs of the outbreak starting again and they're tasked with destroying the virus before it kills the rest of humanity. I believe this film will be amazing and it will definitely be on my "to watch list." Now this film was part of the After Dark Originals, however, the film has so much praise that they postpone the films release in order to give it a better release and long theatrical release sometime in 2012. I personally can't wait.







Prometheus -- Prometheus is a prequel to the Alien franchise. This film shows the origin of the aliens and how the space craft that was seen in Alien and Aliens how it got there and who that giant creature is that was sitting in the seat. Personally, I think this film will be the best and biggest blockbuster of 2012. I've been following this movie for a while trying to find out a release date for it, well it turns out, it's opening on June 8th. I will definitely pre-order my tickets like I did Serenity "burn the land, boil the sea, you can't take the sky from me!" Sorry just had to throw that in there.














World War Z -- Zombies. That's all you need to say to have my attention. I would definitely pre-order my tickets for this movie. This movie is based on a book of the same name -- which I've read -- and it was an amazing read. However, I do have my reservations about the movie. The way the book was written it makes it difficult to see how the movie would work. The book is an oral account of the zombie apocalypse and how we survived, who started it and who should take the blame etc. All you're doing is reading about a guy who goes around interviewing people and getting a wider picture or accounts of what they went through, from average survivors, students, military leaders, politicians and filmmakers etc. Nonetheless, the movie should hold my attention. Now since the main character is Brad Pitt should give the story some credibility since I feel Brad Pitt wouldn't do a movie like that unless it was absolutely worth doing or had a good story.






I hope you enjoyed this list of some of the movies I'm looking forward to. So mark your calenders and get ready.

-- Connor Murphy

The Walmart Lady Hit on me!

Ha well this happened a few days ago when I got Dylan Dog etc. I after sending about an hour -- yes, an hour looking through movies and the five dollar bin, I decided to leave. As I was at the checkout stand, this older lady I'd say mid-forties or so, white, not to tall started scanning my DVDs. Well she saw on of my DVDs and said, "Are you old enough to watch these movies?" I said, "Yeah, off course." Then she said, "How old are you?" I gave her my age "And she said, "Mmm, I see... You're not watching them alone are you?" And at this point I realized this was the longest conversation I've ever had with a cashier, so I said, "Yeah. Most likely." Then her punch line was, "You don't have to... There's always someone willing to watching 'em with you." And and a little smirk hit her face. Personally I thought it was funny so I just smiled and said, "I'll keep that in mind." Then I walked away. I glanced back and she was still looking at me and that's the end of my Walmart adventure. This is why I always say weirdos always come out at night... It's in their nature!

-- Connor Murphy

Friday, March 23, 2012

Fringe: "A Short Story About Love." Episode 15 (3/23/2012)

This episode of Fringe is about a man who targets his victims based on love. I first must start off by saying Fringe is a deep TV show and there are different layers to this case, which leads to the bigger picture. I will try to be as through as possible to illustrate how this episode reveals a major piece of the puzzle.

If you're a long time follower of the show you'll be familiar with what's about to be said. However, there's those who are not familiar or may be just getting into Fringe. At the end of Season 3 Peter Bishop was transferred into limbo -- a place of chaos, or nonexistence. Then at the beginning of Season 4 a couple of episodes into this season Peter returns to a timeline. It then appears that Peter is on a different timeline as he tries to figure out ways to return back to his timeline and back to his "Olivia" (Actually my Olivia).

Now this episode of Fringe reveal a major piece of the puzzle and this peace is Peter never actually left his timeline. This is brilliant. Let me explain what happen. If you have a person you love and you had someone erase that person that means the people in control would have to erase every aspect of that person including the memories of that person you love. What would be the repercussions of this act? This person you loved influenced you and others around him and those he interacted with. He may have gave someone hope, made someone try to be a better person, or simply put a smile on someones face, which caused them to do a "random act of kindness" for another person. So if this person was wiped off the face of the Earth -- no longer existed -- then all the people he interacted with would actually be different people and make different decisions.

This is what is happening in the Fringe universe, because Peter was erased everyone changed. Walter was checked out by Olivia instead of Peter. Peter had died years ago. Agent Lincoln Lee is geeky and actually more active in this version of time than in the original timeline. Walter is agoraphobic. And keep in mind Peter being erased doesn't just effect our universe, it effects the alternate universe, because in the original timeline or version of time our universe was at war with the alternate universe. Because Peter didn't exist, they're in alliance. Why would this be? Because the reason our universe was in conflict with the other universe, was because Walter crossed over and took a young Peter and brought him over her. Now since Peter was erased, Walter never crossed over and Walternate (Walter's alternate self) isn't angry at his alternate self.

Now the interesting thing is Olivia is having memories of things she's never had. It was proposed that she's having or fusing with another Olivia from an the original timeline, which is the reason why she's having memories she can't recall and she's forgetting the memories she had when Peter was erased. Now, why is this happening? Because the Observer said "I have a theory because the people who cared about you couldn't let you go and you them, it kept you from being completely erased. I think this is what you humans call 'Love.'" Of course I'm paraphrasing it but he said that is in so many words. With that said it means this: Because Olivia, Walter, Walternate, maybe Broyles, Astrid et. all care about Peter and some loved him, and this is the same for Peter, he loved them, their loved for each other prevented Peter from being completely erased.

Now is Olivia losing her mind? Absolutely not because if you seen the movie It's A Wonderful Life, you'll see that the main character said something about wishing he was dead. An angel showed him how life would be if he were dead or never existed and everything was worst. This made it him appreciate life even more. With that out there, the reason Olivia never knew Peter or had no memory of him was because he was erased from the timeline and so was the love and feelings she had for him and that goes for everyone else who knew Peter. But since deep down the loved him and he loved them, and Peter actually returned into the timeline he was always on, he's starting to influence and touch peoples lives again. So in other words Peter returning to his universe caused everything to slowly return to normal. Olivia getting her memories back. Walter becoming more caring etc.

So let me try and make it more clear. Because Peter returned to the timeline from limbo this set in motion a set of events that would put the timeline back in place and cause everything to slowly return to normal. His return slowly caused Olivia to realize she knew him from somewhere. And because she's starting to get her old memories back from a time when Peter influenced her, her new memories -- memories from a world where Peter didn't exist -- would vanish because Peter offset everything and cause her old memories to return. This should be happening to everyone, but Olivia is the one in love with Peter.

Another thing I would like to point out is, the reasons why Peter thought he was in a different timeline. He believed this because he no one knew him and everything was virtually different. However, when Olivia started to get her old memories of Peter back, the universe started to unfold differently now that Peter was in the universe influencing people etc. leaving his mark in the world.

So at the end of Season 3 Peter went missing Peter was in Limbo caught in between two universe or caught between existing and nonexistence. So I hope this helps you understand the world of Fringe. It's such an engaging TV show and I look forward to it every week. Also, even thought I know this is a Film Rant, I'll still rate this episode of Fringe. Four starts out of Five!

-- Connor Murphy

Fringe

Synopsis: Special Agent Olivia Dunham is recruited into the Fringe Division of the FBI, which explores strange phenomenons.

Fringe follows the life of Olivia Dunham (played by Ana Torv -- a total hottie by the way). After being recruited into the Fringe Division of the FBI she tracks down a man named Peter Bishop (Played by Joshua Jackson) in order to get him to check out his father Walter Bishop (played by the legend himself John Noble. He's brilliant in this as always!) Walter is a brilliant mad-scientist who is extremely intelligent. They use him because of his studies he had conducted in the past. Over the course of the seasons it becomes apparent that our universe is being attacked by an alternate universe.

In the Fringe universe every action has an effect and every effect causes a ripple of repercussions that caused a distortion in both universes and the timeline. Why are the universes on the brink of war? Years ago, Walter Bishop lost his son Peter who dead from a sickness. His wife was distraught, so Walter created a window to see into the other universe and when was viewing into the other universe watching his alternate self (Walternate) find a cure for Walternate's son. It turns out, he found the cure, but was distracted by an Observer (more on that later). Walter from our universe decides to cross over into the other universe and take Walternate's son Peter and bring him back over into this world to cure him. Walter completes the task and as he returns back over, he and peter nearly drown in the icy water, but they're saved by an Observer.

Walter decides to keep him her in our universe after seeing how happy his wife was. However, Walternate on the other side realizes that his wife encountered a man that looked exactly like him (Walternate) -- keep in mind that they're both extremely smart -- so Walternate realizes his son was kidnapped and taken over to the alternate universe. Fast foward fifteen years or so and Walternate is no long a top scientist, he's now the Secretary of Defense for the United States, however, in our universe, Walter has a mental breakdown and becomes this mumbling, incoherent, psycho-babbling, brilliant mad-scientist who had part of his brain taken out.

Now Olivia comes into the picture because, as child she was experimented on by Walter and William Bell, who were trying to create a group of kids who can find those who come over into this universe, however, in the long run major side effects have come about over the years. Also, because Walter crossed over tot he other side to take Peter, that effected both universes especially the other side. A number of things were caused such as the weakening of a "wall" that divides both universes. After she's tracks Peter Bishop down and releases Walter from the mental asylum they embark on their mysterious journey into the unknown.

The alternate universe is far more advanced than ours and in their defense they uses a number of weapons such as shapeshifters, people who are robots that can assume the identity of others and shape shift into the person they had just killed. They have spies and people working for them on the other side. They even have sent over FauxOlivia (Olivia Dunham's alternate self) to assume the identity of her and gather intelligence on our universe, all the while our Olivia was trapped on the other side being experimented on and treated as if she were an alien.

Now, the observers are suppose to remain neutral, however, through out the show you see a few of them start to appear randomly changing the events. The Observers are seen in all of the episodes if I'm not mistaken somewhere in the background. The Observers also appear or can be seen in all the major events that took place in our world and possibly the alternate universe. These guys are mysterious like the Men in Black and they're extremely integral to the story.

So in this review I covered Seasons 1, 2 and parts of Season 3 and lumped them all into one review. Also, Season 4 is becoming extremely interesting and the next episodes look like they're going to be AMAZING! Nonetheless, I have to warn some people who have not seen Fringe about something. Fringe starts of slow, but just because it starts of slow and you might not understand what's happening doesn't mean that you will not enjoy the show. Also, if you watch the first season and pay close attention to the CLUES that are presented there everything starts to make sense before it actually starts to make sense, you know before the show starts to reveal it for those who didn't pick up on the small clues. I still recommend Fringe for everyone especially if you liked the The X-Files.

In conclusion, I absolutely love Fringe! This TV show is on my top five favorite TV shows of all time. I think Fringe  is ten times better than The X-Files and of course that's subjective. However, there's one misconception about Fringe and that is Fringe is exactly like The X-Files. Well it's not, it's different on a variety of levels. For example, the Fringe theme song is brilliant and The X-Files theme song is the creepiest theme song in the history of creepy theme songs -- it's so creepy I'm convinced it was composed by an E X T R A T E R R E S T R I A L  A L I E N from planet UV-5 in the Andromeda constellation! It's creepy. Fringe is more unique with it's episodes, which lead into the "bigger picture" at the end of the season; a more profound season finale. Also, Olivia is hotter than Agent Scully from the The X-Files... Just so you know, in this universe and my alternate universe I'm Olivia Dunham's future husband... She just doesn't know it yet...

So what do I rate Fringe? I give it Five GOLD stars out of Five!

-- Connor Murphy

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Weekly Recomendation 3/20/2012

  1. Pulse [Japanese Version] Pulse is such a depressing film that I will warn anyone who's on antidepressants to avoid this film at all cost! LOL it's not really scary, however, it has it's moments. I will also admit that I fairly enjoyed the original, but the original surprasses the remake by a long shot. 
  2. REC -- This film is the original movie that was remade for English speaking audiences (for whatever reason). It's from Spain and this is one of my favorite zombie movies. It's on my top eleve favorite zombie movies. So keep any eye out for this one as well!
  3. Mirrors -- As I've mentioned before Keifer Sutherland is one of y favorite actors of all-time. I think his movies are always well done. Mirrors is a horror story about ghost that are seen in the mirrors. Your reflection is out to kill you. This movie slipped under the radar, so I will encurage you all to check this film out.
  4. Little Miss Sunshine -- What can you say about this movie? It's adorable. Cute. Uplifting. It's such an interesting little film it's no wonder why it won so many awards. This is coming from a guy who loves horror, action and sci-fi movies. This is one of my favorite coming of age movies or dramas. Check it out, even if you are into the whole tought-guy-blows-up-bad-guy-saves-the-girl-turns-into-a-ninja-killing-all-the-zombies-as-he-makes-love-in-a-closet-with-a-hot-blonde-all-the-while-zombies-bigfoot-and-aliens-are-outside-the-closet-pounding-on-the-door-trying-to-get-in! WHEW! I had to try... Sorry.
  5. Kilifornia -- This is one of my favorite Brad Pitt movies. It stars that dude from the X-Files Michelle Forbes, Jullette Lewis and Brad Pit. This is a film where Brad Pitt is a serial killer and he plays it so well he really steals the show. It's very impressive.

-- Connor Murphy

Friday, March 16, 2012

Touch

Synopsis: A man who lost his wife during the attacks on the World Trade Centers, struggles to deal with the loss of his wife all the while trying to care for his autistic child.

Touch is such an amazing TV show. Personally, Keifer Sutherland is one of my all-time favorite actors and I am very intrigued by his latest role on Touch. It's refreshing seeing him pull away from the Jack Bauer character into a new role that shows pure emotion and love.

Tonight was the premiere of Touch, which involved Martin Bohm (Sutherland) who takes odd jobs to support his son ever since he quit his job as journalist. Clea Hopkins (played by Gugu Mbatha-Rawand, there's no way will I try to pronounce that) who is a social worker who comes to see the living arrangement for Jacob (played by David Mazouz). After Martin starts to see the numbers and synchronicities Jacob has written down, he realizes that there's some sort of pattern.

Martin tracks down Professor Arthur Teller (played by Danny Glover) who explains to Martin that his son Jacob can see patterns and see how everything connects to each other whether it be the past, present or future. He tells Martin that Jacob is trying to communicate with him. Martin listens and realizes that all over the events he has had are part of a bigger universal plan.

Everything from the beginning from the man who hit him front he beginning, the numbers on the mans hand, the lottery tickets, the man who sales appliances, the female singer, the boy from the Middle East and event he social worker, are all part of a pattern that Jacob can see in numbers.

This TV show is very much like Fringe, which I enjoy just as much. If you haven't seen this TV show, the next air date is March 22nd 2012 at 9:00 P.M. (or 8 central time) on channel eleven. Time your phones and enjoy a fantastic, brilliant and mesmerizing new TV series on Fox.

I definitely rate this TV show Five Stars out of Five!

Where do I buy My Movies?

Some of my friends always as me where do I buy movies and how much do I spend on them. Well I budget. As a matter of fact, I will spend no more than five bucks on a movie unless it's something I've been waiting for it to come out for some time. However, even then I will dig for coupons online and then go and buy them. I'm a bargain hunter. So as for the places I shop? These places:
  • Biglots
  • Walmart
  • Target
I don't like going to Best Buy unless it's absolutely necessary! Other than that I will not go there because their movies are so damn expensive. I see new movies that cost sixteen bucks at Target, yet the same movies at Best Buy is nineteen bucks and a whole lot of change. So unless you have the capital avoid Best Buy unless you have to.

I'm not done yet. I want to talk about Biglots and why I prefer that over all the others. Well Biglots has an interesting selection of movies -- depending on where you go in my area -- and they always have at least one movie I want. Well here's the problem, the Biglots near my house has DVDs, but the majority of the DVDs are movies I've near heard of, don't care about, or Rug rats (mostly Rugrats!). So that means I have to go out of my way to find some decent movies. Well I did a little research and I found three more big lots near me two are close to me and the others are slightly out of my way, but guess what? it's all worth it! Shopping at Biglots is like -- Forest was DAMN RIGHT -- a box of chocolate cause you never know what you're going to get!

Ever since I started shopping at Biglots, it seems like, the one near my house, reduced their movie selection, which forced me to venture out. I feel like a coyote who can't find food, which prompts the coyote to venture into the cities for food. Well it's worth it. Plus the movies are three dollars to about five, unless you find a TV show then that's different.

Target is only, I usually go there when I'm really bored and search for movies, but most of their five dollar movies are movies I'm not interested in or are movies I won't watch again.

Now we're onto Walmart. Walmart, I have mixed feelings because I hate the place and then I love. Why do I hate it? In my city, the whole damn country goes there!

Now why do I like going to Walmart? Yes, the movies, but I like the drive and their five dollar bin. However, I mostly like to go at night to see all the weird nocturnal freaks and that doesn't include me and the other One percent who are normal. I swear to the gods of Olympus you can see people from all walks of life at my walmart. I mean everyone from men that look like they want to be women, girls in weird pajamas, ninjas, fat cops, girls with guns on their legs, bald women, a pirate, stoners, tweakers, hot Asian girls with very short skirts (you'll see why this is weird in a moment), Mungos (dumpster divers), Jehovah's Witnesses etc. You catch my drift. It's weird seeing all those strange things.

Another reason I like to go at night, in the daytime there's so many damn people it's you'd think it was a World Cup event. So at night you see weird people -- at night mean 12:30 and onward -- so back to the hot Asian girl with the short skirt... What? Most people have pajamas on (not me, I'm to embarrassed to do that), but for her it was slightly out of place and for me slightly arousing (just being honest) and I'll admit, she knew I was looking cause when I got back to the car she kept looking back at me.

Oh crap... I just realized since all the weird people come out at night what if that hot asian girl was a dude?! You know a dude with a "wang" between her legs?! A Lady Boy?! That would suck ass! Anyways, for the most part I know it was a girl. So there you have it my favorite places to get movies! Search for your local Biglot and go crazy!

-- Connor Murphy

Monday, March 12, 2012

Weekly Recommendations 3/12/2012

Today I decideed to list five movies that I've seen that I'd recomend to you folks! Enjoy!

  1. The Debt (Such a brilliant thriller about the Israeli Mossad. I thought everything this movie had to offer was simply brilliant. I couldn't recommend this anymore than I am now!)
  2. 25th Hour (This movie is very moving. It's an interesting drama about a man who is going to prison for seven years in 25 hours.)
  3. The Invention of Lying (This is a comedy about the invention of lying and how it "all started." It's very funny and absolutely entertaining.
  4. The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) (Personally, I liked both of them, however, the original is much more entertaining.
  5. Two hands (My favorite Heath Ledger film. It's about a guy who loses money that belongs to a mafia boss in Austrailia. I don't want to give to much away because it will be a SPOILER.
-- Connor Murphy

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Twilight Rant

I absolutely hate this series. I can't understand why so many people actually like this shit. I just can't get into these movies. I've really tried. There's so many things that are just cringe-worthy to mention. It's a REALLY bad franchise.

I figured I write down all my problems or things I see wrong with Twilight. And here they are:

  1. Edwards a douche bag
  2. Bella's annoying, retarded, anti-social, insecure, negative, and passive.
  3. Jacob needs a shirt.
  4. The Twilight series promotes bestiality and necrophilia. Think about it, Bella wants to -- wait she DID have sex with a vampire. Vampires are dead. A corpse. A cadaver. She fucked a dead body. That my friends is NECROPHILIA. Jacob's a dog, she wants Jacob, and I bet if Edward was ripped to dusk, Jacob would be with Bella and guess what? She'd be banging a dog -- or wolf -- or mutt -- whatever he is. Stephanie Myers you are one weird Mormon bitch.
  5. Edwards Dad (Cauliflower? Lol) He bites teenagers... Enough said. Kill this fucker.
  6. Bella treats her dad like crap.
  7. Stephanie Myers is Satan's mom.
  8. It puts people who are obsessed with this crap as a whole or as a "collective society" back into the 1950's mind-set. You know "bitch make me a sandwich" kind of mindset. In other words, women who look up to Bella are taught to be submissive like a Jehovah's Witness wives. (Damn I hate them.)
  9. Bella's suppose to be this perfect girl, except for her clumsiness -- which isn't an attractive characteristic by the way, then again it depends on how cute the girl is and how her personality is. Bella's personality is nonexistent. But if Bella was so perfect, she wouldn't be reading Emily Bronte, she'd be reading Twilight by Stephanie Fuckin' Myers.
  10. Bella's life is really fuckin' boring. I mean so fuckin' boring, I rather watch paint dry on a wall. No -- I rather watch ants eat the baby bird that fell from the nests. Wait -- I got it -- I'd rather watch a dung beetle roll shit across concrete than listen to Bella's life story.
  11. Stephanie Myers only knows one mood: Depression. She was a house-wife... No wonder Bella and Edward are always depressed.
  12. A role model is someone who helps old ladies walk across the street, not some insecure girl who thinks her life and everything is worthless and bane and that the only thing worth living for a guy who thinks she smells like shit, dumps her in the middle of the forest, leaves her behind even though he knows a KILLER BITCH VAMPIRE is after her, controls her, bosses her around, he wants to slit her throat with his teeth, he tosses her across the room (Did he even apologize? He did say he didn't want to hurt her anymore, but did he apologize?!) shall I continue?! Bella is Nikki--Minaj--Bat--Shit--Insane. She has problems.
  13. If you date a Twilight fan then you'll be considered her "Jacob" or "Edward," which means one thing" You're going to have a bunch of im--fuckin'--possible standards set before you for life. Abort while you can. Abort.
  14. Climatic plot is seriously lacking.
  15. Character development is nonexistent.
  16. The content of the book can be summed up in one word: Shit.
  17. Team Jacob sucks
  18. Team Edward Sucks
  19. Team Bella, well people who are part of this team need electro-shock, mixed with behavioral therapy because there's nothing to be proud of let alone root for when you're on Team Bella, because she's practically a dumb-ass.
  20. Twilight fans are like Jehovah's Witnesses. Jehovah's Witnesses will not read any literature outside their religion because it's apostate literature (wow, the watchtower has them on a leash). Like the J.W.-Whores, the Tw-tards -- I mean Twi-hards -- refuse to read any other REAL Vampire book fore example... Anne Rice?! If they did read Anne rice they would realize Twilight sucks. The same for J.W.-Whores, if they read literature that's outside of their religion, they will see they're under mind control and they're practically being used.
  21. Like like vegetarians in real life, vegetarian vampires are pathetic.
  22. Edward talks a lot of shit, but can fight without his brothers and sisters. Lame.
  23. It doesn't matter if you think Edward is hot or not because he will never be able to GET HIS "WANG" UP! It's impossible for a dead guy to get a hard-on. He's a corpse. Dead. Stiff. That means he has no blood Running through his body. Even he admitted he doesn't drink human blood, therefore, it would be impossible for Bella to hold onto that "Wang." so there you have it Bella is in for one BIG SURPRISE. Also, ask your guy how hard it is to get "it" up when you're cold? Remember Edward is cold? No offense to anyone, but girls if you want to know what it's like to be with Edward try this experiment: Get a dildo. Put it in the freezer for seven hours. And use it. Ha... I rest my fuckin' case.
  24. Bella isn't even "one dimensional." She's just a mental case.
  25. Twilight is programing young women to embrace this mindset, "if my guy doesn't sparkle, he's not good enough for me!"
  26. The wolf pack is suppose to be big bad-asses with big muscles and hairless chests, yet when the morph into a big giant dog that doesn't have a "Shillong!" So Jacob goes from being a buff dude, to a dog with no "wang." How's that manly?
  27. Be honest, if there was a book that called "The Dog Goes Arf!" That would be more entertaining, accurate and unique than any book in the "Twilight" series -- ahem, I mean Saga.
I'll add more when my brain recharges...

Twilight Eclipse

Synopsis: Victoria comes back to start an army to kill Bella -- a bunch of little vampires to kill one Klutzy girl -- and the Cullens and the Wolf Pack band together to protect her... Dear Zeus what... The... Fuck... Are these movies about?

Eclipse Sucks. I only saw it once! Wait -- I forgot. I have the Twilight Movies for only one reason, COLLECTING PURPOSES ONLY! OK, now back to the review. This movie just went to shit. Bella still has a hard-on for Edward. Edward keeps bitching about Jacob and Jacob keeps trying to win Bella over... Agh, it's just the same shit again. There's nothing new with this movie other than the continuation of Jacob and Edward bitching over a retard.

This is what I find funny Victoria start an army of young vampires to come after Bella and distract the Cullens or something like that, well is it really necessary to send in a BATTALION to kill one retarded girl who falls a lot? All you have to do is wait for her to fall and then use your super speed and dig a deep hole (after all they got stamina and strength) and all your problems are gone. Really and army of vampires for a girl -- yet she STILL FAILS miserably. What do you expect that's the world of Twilight and I can't stand it.

I will admit this, Jacob's acting did improve in this movie, well I thought so. Nonetheless, it doesn't change the fact that he's still a pussy-whipped little puppy.

So there you have it that's all this fucking movie about -- Bella crying over Edward -- Jacob crying over Bella -- Edward looking like he's being tortured in the movie Hostel -- Edwards dad looks like a creepo that worked at the DMV -- a vampire army after Bella -- the Wolves and Vampires team up to protect one retard -- Jacob gets hurt and Bella still wants Edward -- and -- the end. FuCk Me! Oh and the Vultri is now after their asses, but who cares right? None of their powers work on Bella because she's so "special" -- and I mean "special" as in Scooby Do Lunch Box kind of special. I hated this movie. I wont review the second one until the price comes down a bit cause I'm not going to pay no full price for that shit.

So what do I rate this movie? - 3 Stars out of 5.

Twilight New Moon

Synopsis: Bella continues on her weird obsession over Edward. Only now she has a new obsessed, an obsession about getting old -- at eighteen years old -- and... She... What is this movie about?!

New Moon -- Twilight -- Star bright, why is Stephanie Myers Skull-fucking me tonight?! Agh, again, I will say this for ever  Twilight  review: I own the movies for collecting purposes that's it -- fuck Twilight. Now the review -- if you want to call it that -- I hated it.

First off this movie is much better than it's predecessor, but it's still annoying. Bella and her lack of proper social skills is even more ANNOYING! She's has mental problems -- she can't complete a sentence without stuttering and somehow within all of this stuttering she manages to throw in "Edward." Why did I hate this movie? here's why:

The entire story is a repeat of the first movie. The only changes? Jacob got buffer. Edward got paler. Bella got dumber. And there's werewolves -- oh no correction -- big giant dogs that don't have genitalia! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL I bet you've never noticed that HUH?! (No homo or weirdo either, it's just impossible to not notice. If you're not swooning over the guys on screen, that is.)


After Bella gets dumped on her ass in the middle of the forest she sits in her room for like three seasons moaning, bitching, crying, narrating, emailing Alice, cutting herself, and screaming in the middle of the night for... Whatever reason. Why was she screaming anyways? I don't know if they show it, if they did it must not be significant if I can't remember it. OK, everyone has heartbreak. So have I, I started this blog to help me with my heart break, but the pain may never go away, however, there's a time in your life where you need to just MOVE THE FUCK ON! Bella you have mental problems (and so do I apparently since I'm "addressing" Bella as if she's a real person... Fuck off.)

Edward is even a bigger douche bag, he hits her (lol I know on accident) and then just dumps her in the forest. Then he STILL TRIES TO CONTROL HER LIFE after he's gone. That's the kind of guy that will end up drinking and beating this shit out of her in the near future... Actually come to think of it, he's going to be beating the shit out of her for ETERNITY!

Jacob, I have mixed feelings about him. To me, when Taylor would act, it looks as if he's WAITING for Bella or whoever on screen with him to say their lines instead of letting it flow naturally like a real conversation. He seems awkward on screen. But regardless of that, he's a pretty decent guy. I'll be honest when Bella started hanging out with Jacob they actually started to look like a NORMAL, NON-ABUSIVE, GENUINE COUPLE! But of course Bella being the "Klutz" she is (it's not an attractive characteristic.) she ends up fucking it up anyways.

BELLA! I get so tired of hearing her name on screen. First off guys, if you meet a girl like Bella FLEE to Cuba. Did you see how she just dumped Jacob for Edward just because Douche bag Edward came back? What girl in her right mind would get back with a guy who: One, left her in the forest. Two, tossed her across the room. Three, Left her in the forest with wolves. Three, continues to stalk her in her dreams. Four, left her even though HE KNEW that redheaded bitch was after her? Five, tells her what she can and cannot do? What girl would go back to a guy like that? Oh, Bella, because everyone likes Bella. Bella belongs on the little yellow school bus with the kids who hold hands at lunch.

The wolves -- a big fuckin' dog, OH WOW. Enough said. Moving on to something more worth while.

The vultri. I like Dakota Fanning and Michael Sheen even in Twilight, they're actually good. But even they can't redeem this movie.

OK, I will also admit this, there's only one character I like and that's Jasper. He's actually intriguing and his back story is the most "developed." Everyone else is just annoying.

The CULLENS -- Weirdos, just throw rocks at them. I can't stand looking at these people because they just irk me.

What did I like about this movie? The fight scenes, but in total there's only about three minutes of it. The rest of it is Bella bitching over Edward... If only that BLACK GUY LOST CONTROL OF THE VAN ON THE DAY WHEN EDWARD AND HIS FAMILY WENT "CAMPING!"

You know what come to think of it the way Bella acts is exactly how a MIND CONTROL victim would act. Do you really want your kids to be looking up to Bella? Some guy tosses her across the room, it's OK just as long as you're obsessed with him. That's all that matters! That's the same thing women who are abused by their husbands say "I still love him. He didn't mean it. I think he can change." NO! NO! NO! FUCKIN' NO! Girls if a guy dumps you in the forest like how Douche Bag Edward did to Bella, he's NOT WORTH YOUR TIME! Bella is a bad example to tween kids.

What do I rate this movie? - 1 out of 5.

Twilight

Synopsis: Bella Swan moves to Forks, Washington and falls in love with a vampire... (Damn.)

Twilight. Twilight. Twilight. Where do you begin with this lump of shit? First off I admit I own all of them, except for the newest one, which I will buy when the price goes down. Also, I have the movies because I'm a FILM COLLECTOR. It doesn't reflect my taste in movies. With that out of the way, lets get into the review. Lets compile this review into one pile of shit review: Twilight sucks.

There's so many things that are wrong with this movie. I can't understand why the fuck do people actually like this movie? I know a lot of people are going to try to shoot me down because I don't like twilight -- try it, I'll hunt you down like a T-1000 -- but this is just my opinion. Personally I think Kristen Stewart et. all are actually decent actors, however, in the Twilight saga they suck because it limits their acting abilities.

Nothing really interesting happens in the movie. Bella's voice over is quite annoying. Yes, there's a fight scene at the end... But who gives a shit. Edward talks all this shit, yet still can't fight without his "brothers and sisters." Even I'll admit the wolves are kick ass!

Bella: Annoying as fuck, can't complete a sentence without stuttering every two seconds, she blinks every .1 seconds, can't maintain eye contact, dependant on a man (I'm not a feminist, feminism is a mental disorder.), she falls everywhere, she's so insecure she thinks being all up on some guys nuts is telling him she loves him, she's very bad at getting hints -- if a guy covers his face when you stand in front of a fan and runs out as soon as the bell rings, there's only ONE possible explanations: You smell like shit. She has nothing interesting to say. Shall I continue?

Edward: Douche Bag. Pedophile. Cold as fuck. He's a physical and mental abuser. Disrespectful to her father in spite of the fact that they try to make him out to be an "old fashion" kind of guy. Pale. Gay.

Jacob: Where do you begin with this fuck-ass? You can't actually like him very much until New Moon, however, even in that he's still annoying. He bounces when he walks. He's not really intimidating. Agh. Fast forward.

Bella's friends: One word: Jaded.

Charlie: Actually pretty kick ass -- it sucks that Bella's the fruit of his loins... Face it people Bella's stuid we must kill her before she breeds.

OK, so I didn't really review this movie, because I didn't really care about this shit. None of the characters, however, I would say I'd rather see Jacob with Bella that Edward, but of course, we all know the Edward's going to get her, however, Bella's going to regret it -- just wait till my Twilight rant and you'll see why she'll regret it.


Oh yeah one more thing, what the fuck DOES VAMPIRES, THUNDERSTORMS, and BASEBALL HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?! What Alice?! You're not making any sense! Remember that scene Alice tells her to watch why they play baseball durring the thunderstorm... Yet I still don't know why!

Anyways, I'd rate this movie One star out Five! Yes, bitches that's right.

Someone asked me...

First let me tell you that I grew up around Jehovah's Witnesses. These people can be the most hypocritical, arrogant, and pompous zombies you'll ever meet. Now, I grew up around Jehovah's Witnesses like I said, but there's one girl I know who, I've NEVER TALKED TO EVER! She's NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ME for more than twenty years! NADA! JACK SHIT! Pigeons say more than she does. Now someone asked me if I would go to this particular girls new cafe she opened up... I starred at her and said "Fuck ass no! I rather piss glass. She's never talked to me ever. Ever! So why the fuck should I give her my money? Because she has a business that means I'm obligated to support her? First off, if you want someone to respect you, you give it first -- respect is a two way street, not a one way street. Two, say hi for a fuckin' change. And three, what the fuck do you expect if you're going to just sit there act like I don't exist, yet put on a fake ass smile when you want something? Lack of courtesy equals 'you're now on my shit-list.'... So fuck no. I will not. End of story... You pissed me off... Now, I'm going to go watch Star Trek."

So there you have it. The moral of the story is, if you want people to do good things for you and show respect, you gotta give it. Respect isn't something you get just because you're you. It's something that's earned.

Connor, out.

Breaking Bad

Synopsis: Walter White is an over qualified Chemistry teacher working a two dead end jobs to make ends meet. After finding out that he has terminal lung cancer, he decides to sell meth with a former student to leave his family money after he's gone.

What can you say about this show? Pure GENIUS! I absolutely love Breaking Bad! Ever season this situation keeps getting worst and worst and worst. There are many elements that make this film such a fantastic watch. The actiong, characters, story, and situations that would cause most people to break under presure. I remember the first time I saw Breaking Bad, I was somewhat skeptical, however, since I'm a Brian Cratson fan, I decided to watch it... It blew my mind. I knew finally there was another show I could actually watch and enjoy besides Fringe and Alcatraz.

Breaking Bad is one of those shows that can be so addicting because of the drama and situations the characters are thrust in. To many shows these days try to bring amazing drama to the table, but not all can do that. Actually, may ACTULLY do it, but after so many episodes or possibly seasons, the show and story starts to fall apart and hit rockbottom. Breaking Bad filled with amazing drama and suspenses. There are times where you feel so much for the characters, you want to help them out.

One thing I personally enjoy about Breaking Bad is the downard spiral of the character Walter White. By season three, Walter is a completely different person than when he was first introduced at the begin of the series. You can literlly see his transformation from a geeky, loving, husband to a murderous drug-cooking crook. Watching Walter encounter these situations it becomes apparent that Walter knows he falling down the rabit hole -- he knows this, but he has an atitude that says "yeah, my worlds going to shit, but I'm going down with it." In other words, he doesn't care if this new lifestyle will destroy his reputation or anything akin to that as long as his family is provided by after he's gone.

Gus, a mysterious man is such a creepy and cryptic character, you can't help but blink while staring at the TV. You blink for the characters, because this man can hold a gaze like a ninja. He's very intemidating, but what makes him so threatening is the fact that he hides his true self so well you will most likely not know who the "big distrubutor" is when Walter goes to meet him for the first time.

Another character I enjoy a lot is Jesse Pinkman, Walter White's former student/drug dealer. Jesse really helps Walter hold the show in such an intense way that if he was to be written out of the show, Breaking Bad just might fall flat. Another thing interesting about Jesse is the fact that he's SO DAMN UNPREDICTABLE! You have an idea what he might do, however, at times you are surprised by his actions.

Again Breaking Bad is such a fantastic show, I can't help but recomend this show so much. Five Stars out of Five.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Twenty-one Ways To Ward Off Jehovah's Witnesses!

We all hate that particular part of the day on Saturday, when there's a knock a the door. Everyone knows if someone knocks at your door early in the moring, it's gotta be one of two reasons: One, a zombie or two, a Jehovah's Witness -- wait -- they're both one and the same. My mistake! Here we go, the Twenty -one Ways To Ward Off Jehovah's Witnesses.

WHEN THEY KNOCK:

Open the door with a knife and raw meat and say, "Oh... Are you here for the goat sacrifice?"

Open the door and IMMEDIATELY SCREAM, "Zombies! Where's my goddamn boomstick?! I gotta kill 'em!"

Open the door. If they ask you "have you found Jesus, yet?" Put on an discouraged look on your face and say, "Fuck... Me... -- Jesus is missing? Now I gotta mow my own lawn!" And slam the door.

Open the door with a Slipknot mask and say "If you're five five five, I'm six six six!"

Open the door and when they start preaching just wait until they give you a chance to speak. Then say, "Hmmm -- sounds interesting..." Then trail off as if you're listening to a voice in your head. Then respond "Yes, Lord Satan, thy will be done --" and then speak to the J-whores and say very suspiciously "Would you... Like to, um, come inside and talk in my office? It's in my basement."

[If you're brave do this! Lol!] Open the door and invite them in with a big-ass smile on your face. As they sit down, excuse yourself for a moment and then return with a sock, lotion and put on the most raunchiest -- like Modern Whore-fare -- hardcore porno you have on the TV. Turn it up and grab the sock then say to them, "Don't worry I can multitask -- so, as you were saying?"

[For guys only] If you open the door and there's a hot girl (be careful with this one, say to adults only!) "Wanna make a porno? We'll call it 'Watch My Tower Grow!'"

Answer the door and look pissed off and say, "What? What?! What?!" And let them ask their opening "question" to start their conversation. Don't answer... Just look offended and say... "I had to stop fuckin' my blow up doll for this shit?!" then say, "You owe me -- who's first?"

[Only do this if you're a good debater and also like to use sarcasm] After answering the door and they toss their bullshit at you say this, "OK, I have a question for you, can I ask it?" They'll probably say, "OK." Then ask "A day consist of when the Earth rotates completely around in twenty four hours -- when the sun goes up, down, and back up. You agree?" They'll most likely say "Yes," then you say this, "If that's the case, then there's a problem with creation, because if the sun was created on the third day, how are you so sure about the first two days of creation?"

Open the door -- as they spew their propaganda, cut them off and say, "Whoa -- whoa -- whoa where do you live?" They might ask "Why" even if they don't ask, "So I can bug you and shove my beliefs down your throat -- that's why! And maybe skull-fuck you in your sleep!"

Open the door and either before they ask you their conversation starter question or before it and say in the most convincing manner, "Wanna be fuck-buddies?"

After opening the door, just stand there staring at them as they talk. Look offended or interested and as they give you a chance to speak say, "Fuck... Me... You are bat--shit--ugly... Stay right here, I gotta get my shotgun -- I can't let you breed..." Then walk away with the door open...